im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
