tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
