Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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