I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
