the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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