it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
