Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
