How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Be still, my beating vagina.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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