I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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