Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
