i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
