I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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