how can u be prego again
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
