have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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