So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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