Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
