Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
where are my eyebrows?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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