Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I came so hard my ears popped.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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