these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
