Your mouth is God's brothel.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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