Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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