Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
