your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
