What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Fuck appropriateness.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
