We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
