she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
