I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
