Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
