Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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