I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Enjoy the penises
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
