Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
