i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
