I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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