Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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