my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
