There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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