thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
