He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
