GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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