Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
