So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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