I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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