i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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