hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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