Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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