were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
