i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
