I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
