Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
