Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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